Being a tourist gets a bad rap. People see the cameras, the flip flops, large groups, the oohing and aahing, and the word tourists rolls off their lips like somehow they have never been anywhere new, like they’ve never been the new kid.
Give me a break.
There is nothing better than shuffling through a new city or destination doing what the tourists do. It’s relaxing. It’s exciting. It’s fun.
Yes, I love visiting tourist attractions. I love being one of the people in the crowd pointing at every new thing I see, like I’m five years old. Maybe it’s the sadist in me, but I love coming home and talking about all the fun things I did on my trip — to the people that didn’t go. That may make me a jerk, but you know what? I’ll gladly play the role of tourist as I scratch another destination off my bucket list.
Are you ready to embrace your inner tourist? Here is a list of reasons you should do just that.
1. You can eat like a king (or queen) and still walk it off through the day as you take in the sights.
2. You can get a foot massage everyday without looking like you have a creepy foot fetish.
3. You can get dressed, or not. Being a tourist means you are expected to look out of place. Besides, what are the chances you run into any of these people again? Flip flops and sweat pants? Don’t mind if I do.
4. You can stop pretending to act worldly. After a few trips over the border (or across the sea) you can regale your friends with tales of your “adventures”.
5. You don’t have to feel guilty about not going to the gym. “I’m on vacation!”
6. You have a different story to tell. Your friends will appreciate hearing a story that they won’t be able to recite verbatim.
7. You can act like a wild, drunken idiot and none of your friends and family will ever know. It will be your little secret — you and the hundreds of people you left at the party in Mexico.
8. Freedom from the tyranny of responsibility. Don’t feel like cooking? Eat out. Don’t feel like cleaning? Room service. Don’t feel like putting on pants? Not today.
9. Feel like drinking before noon? Go for it. Beer with breakfast? Just add tomato juice. Wine with lunch? Mimosa, baby! You’re on vacation. No one will question it.
10. Having a sunburn and a hangover miles away from home is still better than having a sunburn and hangover at home. And you’re still having more fun than your friends.
11. My so-so salary in the States makes me wealthy in other parts of the world.
12. You become the exotic. = )
As you can see, being a tourist is not half bad at all. In fact, if you don’t want to be a tourist after reading this there is a good chance you should have your head checked.
Want to get away from it all and live the tourist lifestyle? Plan your next trip at www.shipsandtripstravel.com.
Holiday travel can be a very stressful time. Let’s face it, there is not much fun in rushing to pack, lugging the kids through the airport and sitting on a restless flight for a few hours, just to end up at your parents’ house listening to your Dad go on about “in my day…”
Okay, maybe I’m over exaggerating. Things aren’t really that bad and I am sure I’ll be singing a different tune when I’m in my sweat pants with a turkey leg in hand. It’s just that the holidays tend to bring a bit of nervous anticipation, and with so much to do — and family to visit — things can get a bit hectic.
Twitter is quite the big deal these days, especially since their recent IPO. One thing that you can count on Twitter for is spectacular commentary – or at the very least, incredibly witty and sarcastic tweets by anyone and everyone.
We’ve taken the time to root through the history of Twitter to uncover some of the funniest tweets about travel. And let me tell you, these tweets are seriously funny! From the TSA to family vacations, you’ll find plenty of funny tidbits worthy of a retweet.
And here they are:
Getting up at 4 AM to fly to Ireland and visit a Guinness factory. Because remembering vacations is lame, that’s why.
— Katie Rose (@katefeetie) September 17, 2009
Woman across from me at the airport is breastfeeding. To show support, I took my shirt off and made strong eye contact.
— patrickborelli (@patrickborelli) January 2, 2010
Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.
— Meaghan O’Connell (@meaghano) December 27, 2009
Now boarding Delta’s 8:55 Shrieking Infant Express with continuing service to Anger, Resentment & Do-It-Yourself Hysterectomies.
— Jelisa Castrodale (@gordonshumway) November 7, 2009
Guy next to me on the plane woke up and is wiping the drool off his shirt. Now may be a good time to tell him I drooled all over his shirt.
— Rafael Torres (@rafitorres) January 21, 2010
Someday I’ll tell my kids I was on a Greyhound bus rolling thru historic downtown Prescott, Ontario, when Rob Ford admitted smoking crack.
— Eva Holland (@evaholland) November 5, 2013
A komodo dragon just ate my passport
— Champagne Guapi (@diplo) January 17, 2010
PSA: travel-sized lube & hand sanitizer are virtually indistinguishable! You should know this before you offer either to strangers.
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) December 28, 2009
Being incarcerated at Alcatraz must have been an absolute nightmare. I keep losing my 3G signal.
— Jason Sweeney (@sween) January 23, 2010
English translation of animal crackers at a Hong Kong supermarket: “Biscuit-shaped animals.” Something got lost in translation.
— Diana Kuan (@dianakuan) April 19, 2009
Another hard-won travel tip: If you are wearing black pants, do not, repeat, do not let a donkey rub its itchy forehead on your thigh.
— Susan Orlean (@susanorlean) April 24, 2009
I think I have post-holiday recession.
— Tom Bodett (@TomBodett) December 28, 2012
Driving in a radio-only rental car reveals an ineplixable and embarrassing knowledge of Celine Dion songs.
— Stephanie (@CcSteff) December 28, 2009
I’m two time zones away from home, which means I’m petrified of turning on the TV and accidentally seeing Leno.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) December 12, 2009
Family reunion in Arkansas. Packing condoms because, you know, clichés.
— Jordan Peterson (@dysolution) July 9, 2009
There should be a law: You’re flying commercial and arrive at airport wearing Polo cologne — mandatory shower at security checkpoint.
— Clinton Kelly (@clinton_kelly) May 25, 2010
I’m not sure if I just went through security to enter the United States, or security to be incarcerated.Two cops felt my tits simutaneously.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) January 15, 2010
I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.
— Michael LeRoux (@lefauxfrog) February 21, 2010
Southwest airlines is like my period. It hurts my back and it’s always late.
— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) July 3, 2010
What does the male flight attendant want from me with these jokes? A tip? A nod of approval? Tell me! WHAT?!!!
— Kevin Biggins (@TheBiggIdea) May 20, 2010
US Airways is like the Chinatown bus of the sky.
— Sarah Morrison (@SarahMorrison) July 7, 2010
I scream at airport police to look on their video for the guy who just stole my purse. The video shows me putting my purse in my suitcase.
— Penelope Trunk (@penelopetrunk) March 24, 2009
Just checked into the nicest hotel room I’ve ever stayed in, but there’s a snorer! Next door? Above? At least…THAT HAD BETTER BE SNORING.
— Heather B. Armstrong (@dooce) March 30, 2010
Sometimes I just want to sell everything I own and go backpacking through IKEA.
— Luckyshirt (@luckyshirt) October 24, 2013
Our hotel is hosting a mime convention and I can’t sleep. Knowing mimes are having sex nearby gives me the creeps.
— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) June 8, 2010
I just gave Hotel Rwanda one star on hotels.com
— Jordan Rubin (@jordanrubin) May 14, 2010
Do the Pamplona running of the bulls on acid. #bucketlist
— CJ Werleman (@cjwerleman) May 22, 2013
One month till Cambodia/Vietnam. Aborted this trip in ’05 due to uncontrolled weight loss. For luck, bacon cheeseburger diet commencing now.
— Leif Pettersen (@leifpettersen) December 13, 2012
A little known fact about Rosetta Stone is that they sell a social skills lesson called “Beer”.
— Michael Pierce (@OverlandParker) June 23, 2010
Best part of vacation so far – spending hours online in a totally different place.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) July 2, 2010
Dude is sitting in a convertable on a ferry. That’s how you know you’ve made it, when you travel by car and by boat at the same time.
— Almie Rose (@apocalypstick) July 22, 2010
Day 3 at the beach: I achieve redhead levels of awkward sunburn lines.
— Stephanie (@CcSteff) June 7, 2010
Man do I ever have the post-vacation blues. Re-entry is a sonuvabitch.
— Linda (@Sundry) July 19, 2013
Mile 100 of a 600 mile trip with 4 kids and my Air Conditioner just stopped working. Look for me on Cops.
— ruthakers (@ruthakers) July 1, 2010
I would like to apologize to the people of glorious Italy where I sometimes like to vacation. I love-a your spicy meat-a bolls!
— Steve Martin (@SteveMartinToGo) September 15, 2010
TSA told me my Xbox controller had a residue of an illegal substance on it and to wipe it down before I travel. Stay snitchin Microsoft.
— Ronald Funches (@RonFunches) July 3, 2013
today, in 1692, the salem witch hunt was started, what we today call “TSA screenings”
— Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) March 1, 2012
What if “terrorists” were made up by Big Pharma to get us to throw out shampoo at the airport & buy travel sizes? Follow the money, sheeple
— Max Silvestri (@maxsilvestri) April 2, 2011
Travel advisory: if you are playing a ukulele in your hotel room in St Paul at midnight, the hotel WILL send secuirity to ask you to stop
— John Cranberrysauce (@hodgman) June 19, 2010
Next week I travel to Omaha to find out what “Git r done” means.
— Mike Birbiglia (@birbigs) September 25, 2012
who says train travel isn’t exciting! someone just pooped on the floor of our train!
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) August 25, 2011
My blonde girlfriend wants to go on vacation to Spain. I saved money & booked a trip to Mexico. She’ll never notice.
— david nuzzy nussbaum (@theNuzzy) December 7, 2012
When Eric Clapton needs clothes for a concert, he borrows my mother’s travel wear.
— John Mulaney (@mulaney) August 19, 2012
— Neil Hamburger (@NeilHamburger) November 22, 2010
I’m always slightly bummed when my car hits 88mph and I don’t travel back in time.
— Paul Scheer (@paulscheer) March 12, 2012
Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) January 13, 2012
People at airport complaining TV is too loud. Can’t wait to see their faces when I pull out my TRAVEL KETTLE DRUMS!
— TODD BARRY (@toddbarry) February 1, 2012
It doesn’t make me feel safer when the TSA takes my yogurt.
— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) June 19, 2013
Going on vacation. Can’t wait to unplug from phone, email, and NSA.
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) August 16, 2013
Vacation resort rule number one: Apparently, if you place a towel on a chair, you own said chair forever.
— Mike Scully (@scullymike) December 27, 2011
I only travel by hot air balloon.
— Natasha Leggero (@natashaleggero) February 18, 2013
I like to wear a fun sock when I travel to give the guys at security a well-deserved chuckle
— Chelsea Peretti (@ChelseaVPeretti) December 29, 2010
Travel Tip: Don’t lick everything.
— Rob Huebel (@robhuebel) February 8, 2012
I can’t believe that a CIA contractor would lie to so many people about his travel plans.
— Eugene Mirman (@EugeneMirman) June 24, 2013
On my deathbed I’ll be so glad I watched tons of tv & didn’t travel.
— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) September 12, 2010
When I travel I’m a real poo mule.
— Kristen Schaal (@kristenschaaled) October 8, 2013
Instead of making anyone travel for Thanksgiving, this year the O’Briens will have a tense, silent meal over Skype.
— Conan O’Brien (@ConanOBrien) November 25, 2010
I’m just like Anthony Bourdain in that I travel often and uncomfortably & occasionally eat insect parts; however, no one’s filming it.
— Paul F. THANKSkIVING (@PFTompkins) June 29, 2013
“In retrospect, I was the Ralph Malph of that flight…” — me, telling my grand kids about today’s travel
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 16, 2012
If Autocorrect was a person I would never go on a vacation with it.
— Paula Pell (@perlapell) May 18, 2012
I know I should be relieved I didn’t get felt up by TSA, but now I just feel unloved.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) June 21, 2011
Dude across from me on flight to Nashville just took the #3 spot on my Top Ponytails of All Time list.
— Aziz Ansari (@azizansari) April 20, 2012
I’m on vacation!!!!!! Oh wait no I’m just in a Jamba Juice
— Jamie Lee (@TheJamieLee) May 1, 2013
gotta renew my passport cuz I’m about to TRAVEL INTERNATIONAL Y’ALL (to a country with a large population of English speakers)
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) March 23, 2013
Just went through the insecurity line at the airport. Pretty sure I did it wrong.
— Alec Sulkin (@thesulk) April 28, 2013
Just had as big of a meltdown a person can have in an airport without getting detained.
— Joe Mande (@JoeMande) March 18, 2012
Update: cute new girl at work who I thought heard me fart did NOT hear me fart. But she did hear me say I put a travel shampoo in my bum.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) June 20, 2012
Got any funny tweets?
Either your wedding is on the way, or already over. Now, it’s time to spend a little quality time on your honeymoon. You can go exotic, and stick close to home, but whatever you choose, there is no shortage of incredible honeymoon destinations sprinkled throughout the U.S. This list of the top 20 U.S. honeymoon destinations ticks off the best places to visit on your honeymoon.
We’ve pulled together a list of the best cruise lines. Are you ready? Maybe you should pack your bags. Whether you are looking for a honeymoon cruise, ambiance, adventure, or just need a reason to get away — you’ll find it all below. We’ve selected cruise ships from every class: small and medium ships, to massive ships built for sailing the world. You’ll also find a nice selection of river cruise boats and yachts.
Nothing quite compares to an adventure at sea. Picture yourself standing at the bow and watching miles and miles of sea unfold before your eyes. The salty sea air glides through your hair on a gentle sea breeze; dolphins dance off the breaking waves of the ship — yes, the ocean is a beautiful place. There is nothing like it.
We all want the perfect family vacation. How many people will say they don’t feel like visiting Hawaii? Or Jamaica? Or any of the other places that you would love to go explore. Would you turn down a trip to Europe? Of course not. So, why haven’t you taken that trip you’ve been talking about for … like forever?
Well, for most of us the reason boils down to not planning. Of course, there is work and the whole money thing, but the main thing between you and a sunny, warm beach somewhere in the tropics for you and your family is not having a plan.
Let’s face it: there is a lot of planning that goes into getting the family ready for a vacation. You have to work in that vacation time and make sure you and the gang will be ready to go when the magic date arrives.
So, the real question is: how do you plan the perfect family vacation? Well, I’ll let you in on the fact that with a little help from a travel professional, you’ll sidestep the majority of the burden. When it comes to arriving at the destination, booking hotels and the rest, you’ll be covered. The hard part is getting to that point.
Because that’s your job.
We’ve decided to make it easy on you. Have a seat, grab a pencil and paper and settle in while I school you on what I have learned when it comes to getting the family on the road and finding some relaxation on your family vacation.
Halloween: a time of year when ghouls and spirits haunt our imaginations and the dead are brought to life. Whether you are fearless or afraid, the spooky festivities abound this time of year, and there are no shortage of cities in the U.S. that attempt to make Halloween a day to remember.
Are you ready to dive in and explore some of the best cities to celebrate Halloween? Let’s kick off this spooktacular journey and travel the twisting road through 11 of the best cities to celebrate Halloween in the U.S.
Salem has earned its name on the list. The checkered past of the city dates back 1692. The Salem witch trials happened here. Witchcraft and folklore still haunt this city. You’ll find no shortage of scary places to explore during the haunting season. The Corwin Witch House, with direct ties to the witch trials of 1692 still stands, and the Festival of the Dead makes Halloween in Salem something you will never forget.
San Diego, California
Whether you want to party all night long at the Monster Bash, or test your mettle at the spooky haunts around the city, you’ll definitely have the time of your life… if you survive. The top Halloween attractions are the Haunted Hotel, Haunted Trail, and Scream Zone, which have been a Halloween tradition for the city for over a decade.
New Orleans, Louisiana
New Orleans is considered one of America’s most haunted cities, and is home to voodoo, witchcraft, and zombie folklore. Let’s not forget it doubles as the party destination. Bourbon Street is the place to go if you are planning to party, and if you are making New Orleans your stop there is a good chance you’ll find yourself on this famous street.Don’t forget to check out Marie Laveau’s House of Voodoo on 739 Bourbon Street and Reverend Zombie’s Voodoo Shop on 725 St. Peter Street.
San Francisco, California
Zillow named San Francisco the top place for trick-or-treating, but the story doesn’t end there. It’s a great city to explore, with a diverse culture and plenty to offer. There is also no shortage of drunken revelry if you are not taking the trip with kids. Either way, you’ll find plenty of scary attractions. Don’t forget to check out the Ghost Ship.
New York, New York
Greenwich Village holds a parade and street pageant every year celebrating Halloween. This event alone draws in more than 2 million spectators every year. Need we say more? Your options for celebration are limitless — it’s New York. There is never a dull moment and the nightlife is something to experience. If you want to party it up you should attend Webster Hell, the biggest party in New York for Halloween. But, it wouldn’t be right not seeing the most horrifying haunted house on the East coast, so do not miss checking that out (if you’re brave enough).
Mahanoy City, Pennsylvania
For 36 years the residents of Mahanoy City in Pennsylvania have been digging graves, searching for Vampires, and trying to stay alive for the night!
Well, not so much that last one. What you can expect though is a an exciting game that will serve as the perfect adventure for you and some friends. Details on the event, which is known as The Great Halloween Grave Dig are pretty hush-hush. In order to attend your group needs to be invited by the mysterious Count Miniescule. Spooky!
Las Vegas, Nevada
Las Vegas holds the biggest costume party in the world and is home to raucous entertainment and a nightlife that is as wild as ever. Of course, there aer parades and parties throughout the city, but what draws the crowds are the Fetish and Fantasy Halloween Ball — pulling in some 7500 people to one party.
One word: Netherworld. It would be quite the feat to produce something as scary as this event. The Netherworld haunted house is a terrifying trek through dark corridors and winding pathways where live actors and other ghouls wait in the shadows, waiting to terrify you around every corner. It has consistently been voted one of the best haunted houses to visit in the U.S.
The Hyatt Hotel is transformed into the Paranormal Palace each year to kick off a Halloween celebration that includes dark corridors and spooktacular entertainment, including a costume contest that nets the winner $2,000! With three thousand people vying for the prize and a sold out venue for the last four years, you better plan this trip in advance. What makes this event even more special is that it’s all for a good cause — proceeds go to benefit The Women’s Global Empowerment Fund, a non-profit working in post conflict northern Uganda and Haiti, providing microfinance, educational & leadership development opportunities women and families.
(Disney World) Orlando, Florida
Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party is an annual event, and a perfect way to celebrate Halloween with the kiddos. The Magic Kingdom is transformed for the festivities and if you have kids they will have an absolute ball getting to trick or treat Disney World.
If you could only pick one place to visit, where would it be?
Travel professionals can definitely help make your vacation experience better and cost less. Here are the top 5 reasons to use a travel professional:
1) No Extra Cost: For the most part, travel professionals are paid by the supplier and not the client. Some travel professionals will charge service fees that should be disclosed up front. However, the bulk of their income comes from the supplier.
2) Added Value: Because of the relationship with the supplier, travel professionals often are able to score added amenities and benefits for their client. This can include free upgrades, a bottle of wine waiting in your room, etc.
3) Knowledge and Experience: Travel professionals are constantly researching and visiting the places and products they sell. They have inside information that can help you avoid common pitfalls, participate in can’t-miss activities and generally advise you of what to expect.
4) Save Time: Time is our most valuable commodity. It is the one thing we cannot create! So, why would you want to waste it hunting around the internet for a deal that may or may not be worth it? Go for the sure thing and use a travel professional that will take care of the details and make sure you have a fantastic vacation!u can expect on vacation. You work hard all the time to go on these precious vacations, don’t waste them with bad information!
5) Relationship: Your travel professional is a trusted friend and ally that has your back before and after your vacation. They work for you and want to make sure you have the best time possible. It is in their best interest to see that you are happy and want to come back for your next vacation!
Can you think of any other reasons to use a travel professional?
Did you know that Cinco De Mayo is not celebrated by most Mexicans?
It is not a federal holiday in Mexico and most businesses stay open on Cinco De Mayo.
Many people misinterpret Cinco De Mayo as Mexican Independence day which is actually celebrated on September 16.
That does not mean we cannot celebrate anyway!
How do you celebrate Cinco De Mayo?
There’s nothing like hitting the beach for some sun, fun and relaxation. For a revitalizing getaway it’s hard to beat and what better place for it than Mexico and the Caribbean? They’re easy to get to and ready to welcome you with all the facilities you need for the perfect sun drenched getaway!